In the first article of this series, we explored two critical elements of a productive mindset, focus and priorities. This time, I want to discuss two more.
Attitude
Whether you realize it or not, your attitude affects everything in your life. Since your thoughts directly inform your emotions, behaviors, and relationships, it’s important to understand their impact, and ultimately, control it for your well-being and the being those around you. Like we spoke about in the the last article, you might not be able to control your circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them. Charles R. Swindoll said it best: “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.”
What if I told you that a positive attitude is completely up to you? I’m sure you’ve heard this before: “Be positive” or “Put a smile on your face!” Although these sound nice, they can often feel empty in the face of real-world problems. So what does being positive truly mean? It does not mean always being happy about your circumstances, but it does mean choosing to see the possible benefits of the situation. Perspective is everything.
Instead of complaining, search for the positives in every situation. Here’s a fun thought experiment: look around the room right now, then close your eyes and try to think of every red item you saw. How many can you think of? One or two? Now look around the room specifically for red, then close your eyes again. How many can you recall now? I bet it’s a lot more. The point is that we see what we want to see. Look for the positives to find them more frequently, and before you know it, you’ll even begin to create them.
Recognizing and acknowledging what is good in your life leads to another key component of a positive attitude: gratitude. When you stop and appreciate all the good things in your life, even when they seem few and far in-between, you’ll find yourself a happier and healthier individual. Some studies found it can improve mood, sleep, diet, and even aspects of your physical health such as blood pressure or immune system. I guess my mom was right after all!
A great exercise to train your “attitude of gratitude” is to replace every “have to” in your routine with “get to.” For example, don’t say “I have to go to the gym” or “I have to pick up the kids.” Rather, say “I get to go to the gym” or “I get to pick up the kids.” This will help you recognize that every action is a choice, and we are often more blessed than we realize. You might even learn to enjoy activities that you previously dreaded or tried to avoid altogether.
Mental Fortitude
On a larger scale, how we respond to negative circumstances speaks volumes about our mindset. It’s easy to be positive when things are going great, but what about when life throws you an unexpected challenge? When you’re laid off from your job, or your loved one is diagnosed with an illness, how should you respond? Should you pretend like everything is alright? Of course not. Not only is that ungenuine, but it also isn’t healthy. On the other hand, it does no good to wallow in misery and wish for reality to be different. As is usually the case, a good balance lies somewhere between these two extremes.
Mental fortitude, sometimes called grit, is built in how we respond to adverse situation. Notice I said “respond” not “react.” At first glance, these words might appear to be the same, but on closer inspection, there is an important distinction between the two. “Responding” is considered deliberate and thoughtful, while “reacting” is typically spontaneous and emotional. If it helps, think of a reaction in a chemistry experiment — an automatic occurrence when two volatile chemicals come into contact with each other, potentially out of control when not contained by outside forces. Responding in this way could make a bad situation even worse.
Practically, the difference between these two is held within the space of your thoughts. If you can take a moment to think rationally about whatever is confronting you, you can collect yourself and respond logically, as opposed to an impulsive reaction. When you first implement this, you may lose your temper, but as you practice this skill, you will become more adept at responding appropriately within shorter and shorter spans of time.
The tough part is, you don’t get to practice mental toughness when things are going well. You can only develop this skill when you are frustrated, angry, confused, or upset about the hand you’ve been dealt — in other words, the times you need to practice being positive are the times when you will least want to. As I often tell the athletes at my gym, anything worth having is rarely easy.
Life is unkind to everyone at some point (some more than others), and no one expects you to be happy about it, but if you focus on what you can control and work to develop a mindset of perseverance and determination, you can learn to get up when life knocks you down.
If you’ve read any of my articles before, you’ve probably figured out that I love a good quote. They inspire me in the moments I need inspiration the most. So I would like to leave you with one of my favorites, which is from the film Rocky Balboa, and it applies perfectly to the immense value of mental toughness:
“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
This is why I love what I do. I help prepare people for the rigors of life by teaching them not only how strong and fit they can be, but also how tough they are.
Check back next week for the final article of this series.
Spencer Smith
Owner & Head Coach
